Friday, February 06, 2009

Politeness

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I expect my kids to be polite at all times. True, they have their moments of insanity. Honestly, I expect that, as long as it gets back under control and they remain polite. What has my back up right now, though, is the fact that one of the instructors at Choi has decided that the kids need to make a point of it. She expects them to do two acts of politeness per day for a month and to write about it in a journal. At the end of the month, they're to turn in their journal for her to read.

I'll admit, some kids need the reminder and having to think about it may not be a bad thing. However, every report card my kids bring home a 'Good Citizen' certificate from school. I'm always hearing from teachers how great my kids are. This is cool, I'm very proud of them for it. What I'm afraid of, though, is if they have to consciously THINK about what they're doing they'll become self-conscious. My daughter really doesn't like the spotlight on her, even if she's a drama queen. She has a tendency to stop whatever it is that's causing her attention. This is great if I want to punish her for something. I really don't want her thinking it's better to be indifferent just to avoid the spotlight.

My son, on the other hand, tends to be embarrassed if you point out things to him. Good or bad. He doesn't mind the spotlight at times, but usually limited amounts. The fact that I *expect* them to be polite makes them uncomfortable when someone else says they have to make a point of being polite. It tends to make them feel they aren't doing what they should be doing. The fact that all I hear are kudos (rarely in front of my kids) means they're doing what they should. They shouldn't have to journal what they do as a regular thing. Just knowing they're doing it is enough for me and it should be enough for the instructor as well.

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